Doe in the desert

Beauty of Children

2006-06-29T08:32:00.000+10:00

Assalamu Alaikum,

I know I am supposed to write something more meaningful (at least upon EC's request). What I planned to write was in Bangla, unfortunately this computer does not have any bangla font installed. So, instead I will share some funny letters from children to God:

Are you really invisible, or is it just a trick?
-Lucy.

I read that Thomad Eddison discovered light. But in sunday school, I learned that you did. I bet he stole your idea.
Yours,
-Dona

Dear God,
When I grow up, I want to be exactly like dad, but not with a body full of hair.
-Sam

Dear God,
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay?

-Neil

Did you really mean do unto others as they do unto you, because if you did then I'm going to fix my brother.

-Darla

I bet it is very hard for you to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it.

-Nan
And there were many more...

Who prays to God in such a beautiful, innocent way like children do(bangla word is shishu: for some reason, this word has more connotation of innocence than the english world children)? These beautiful prayers, most of them makes us laugh, are so sweet and naive. In their simplicity, there are so many lessons hidden for us. If only our hearts were tender like theirs, if only our minds were pure like theirs, if only we loved selflessly like them; this world would have been a much better place.

Islam teaches us to love children. They are a great blessing from Allah (SWT). Nothing disheartens me more than to see a child going ashtray as soon as they hit the teens. In today's world many parents are so immersed in wordly life they forget to pay attention to their children. In the West, specially, it is very common. Both parents work 8- 5 and leave their children in child care under very poor supervision. They think financial support for their child is enough. The fact is, financial support alone doesn't fulfill a parent's duty towards a child. One can only win a child's heart through love and gentle attitude. It is child's right to be loved and cherished. Nowadays, most teen girls want to avoid their parents because they hardly get along with them. Far too often they complain that parents don't understand them. Parents scarcely have the time to talk to their children. Yet, parents expect their children to grow up to become complete(and perfect!!) human beings. Parents constantly blame the children when they are misguided, yet not realising that their negligence is responsible for it.

Propher (SAW) is the best role model for the whole of humankind. His attitude towards children was always compassionate and merciful. Anas Ibn Malik narrated :
I never saw anyone who was more compassionate towards children than Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him). His son Ibrahim was in the care of a wet nurse in the hills around Madinah. He would go there, and we would go with him, and he would enter the house, pick up his son and kiss him, then come back. (Muslim)

Another beautiful hadith that demonstrated how prophet(SAW) expressed his fondness to children:
Narrated Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him),
Allah’s Messenger kissed Al-Hasan ibn `Ali while Al-Aqra` ibn Habis At-Tamim was sitting with him . Al-Aqra` said, “I have ten children and have never kissed one of them.” The Prophet cast a look at him and said, “Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully.” (Al-Bukhari)

I am flying in few hours. I have been so busy with exams and packing up, I didn't have the time to write a proper post. Inshallah, when I am back, I shall be back with my long intended bangla post on my "bangladesh vromon". Maybe I can add my anectodes from London vromon too iA.Make dua for me.
Wassalam.

বর্তমান ইচ্ছে

2006-06-24T11:22:00.000+10:00

থাকবো নাকো বদ্ধ ঘরে
দেখবো এবার জগত্‍ টাকে
কেমন করে ঘুরছে মানুষ
যূগান্তরের ঘূণির্পাকে ।

Tajweed

2006-06-18T13:30:00.000+10:00

Assalamu Alaikum,

For anyone who is interested in tajweed lessons, here are some great resources:
Tajweed Al-Quran
Recitation by Sheikh Al-Hussari
Recitation by Sheikh Abdullah Basfar

I have found these resources to be very beneficial and an excellent source of inspiration. Tajweed is a science in itself, Subhanallah. There are so many rules to follow even in a single ayah. You can only appreciate its depth if you start learning it.

Somthing completely different now. Something I couldn't resist sharing. Here is a poem rich in imagery and beautiful in words from the great poet Rumi.

I have exams soon. In the cramming-mode. Please make lots of dua for me.

I am alive

2006-05-26T11:22:00.000+10:00

Salam everyone,
To those who are concerned about me, yes, I am alive. I just finished my thesis presentation. I feel extremely extremely extremely relieved. Anyway, the big task is still ahead. Have 9 assignments due in next 2 weeks,then exams, then a special Holiday I am so looking forward to. Everyone, please pray for me.tc.
luv
moi...

fish out of the water

2006-04-06T19:33:00.000+10:00

aa everyone,
reason i am blogging is to procrastinate. My poor helpless condition this week:

I feel like the "fish out of the water" in microbiology lab. Being the coufused person i recently became, i sought out the tutor's help. only then and then, i realised i have completely lost my mind. i was asking questions which didn't make sense and i had forgotten all the work i have been doing on that particular lab from week 1. so back to ground zero for me.
I have started my thesis. thoroughly annoyed by the number of literature i need to read. Scientific papers they are, they hurt my eyes, half the time they don't make sense to me when i read it first time, but most of the time, i fall asleep reading them. I am supposed to have a diary of my readings by now, 6 weeks have passed, i have not read one paper yet. My supervisor will soon chase me with a stick.
Mr S is coming over next week iA....hence and therefore..i am over the moon & i aught but to finish all my work b4 he lands on the aussie land. And just b4 he comes, just in time, I have been blessed with a spot on my face staring at me :-(. Arghh...i look a wreck.
If everything goes wrong...something is going right. restarting YMSA programs tmr, ki moja.
All i see is hair everywhere and the cream colour tiles of the house does little to hide it. Shower room needs to be cleaned everyday coz of hair. Anytime soon, ammu will explode and tell me off really badly. having read Nas's blog, i couldn't relate and sympathise with her more about hair loss.

It's colours all the way. I am trying to feel colourful.

Hijab and muslim girls

2006-04-03T16:55:00.000+10:00

Salam all,
I am in a very confounded(more like angry) and morose state of mind. I am asked to justify improper actions and I don't know what to say. This is what happened today. A conversation between me and a non muslim friend:

NMF: Do you need to wear that dress (pointing to my abaya).Can't you just cover your head and wear casual clothes?

Me: Well, we need to wear loose clothing . That doesn't necessarily have to be a dress. But I prefer this.

NMF: (draws my attention to her semi-tight top and jeans)see, what I am wearing is also loose ( pulls her top away from her body to demonstrate how loose it is)

Me: It still reveals your body shape. We are not supposed to show the shape of our body, for example, long nice legs,big .....(lol, i was trying to make sense to her)

pause for few minutes...NMF is probably pondering on what I have just said...

Then comes the trouble...there appears a hijabi sister with a skin tight top and nice skirt(tight at the waist, accentuating her curve and beautifully covered up in her hijab[I tell you, not one strand of hair can be seen but her bosom is exposed.Smiles at me and we reciprocate salams]

And I knew, I just knew the moment was coming...NMF take a full turn at me and exclaims

"See, she is wearing a scarf and wearing nice clothes. Why don't you wear something like that?"

This is the umpteenth time I am asked this same old question.

Well, what should I say at this point? I can't directly say to her that my muslim sister is not doing it properly because that will be backbiting. And I have already explained to her Islamic requirements of Hijab. What do I do? Oh gosh...she left me in an utterly deluded state.

Few hijabi girls dropped their hijab this year. If makes me feel so upset. One of them was my good friend. Problem is, after taking her hijab off, she won't even talk to me. She simply rushes off quickly when she meets me. And so many of my non muslim friends are asking me why she took her hijab off. They want justifications from me. What do I do??Why ask me??

May Allah guide us all and more importantly keep us all on his path for the rest of our lives.

Therefore....

2006-04-01T12:01:00.000+11:00

Salam buddies,

how r ya all? my blog has been shutting down on me for last few days. It no longer likes me to post here. Today its showing some mercy and therefore i shall duly bore you.

I have just recovered from the most violent vomit attack. People, u r not allowed to assume funny things, its just food poisoning lol. I vomited continously from 4am-10 am. My memory doesn't have such horrible past incidents recorded. being so sick put me behind two days of work and yes i am heavily behind now. I spend my last two days in bed, sleeping n dreaming. Gosh, its such a nice world out there. i can't seem to be bothered about work anymore. lets see where the wave takes me...i will just flow.

tancurve aka old HP and I had such a great catch-up over a cuppa coffee chat last week. The girl was so sweet but she committed a huge crime(I won't disclose) . And i am responsible for it. i think i bored her by talking too much about .......... My aplologies dear, it wont happen again.

Emu deserted me today. she wont be my there to provide me directions. Emu, its an unforgiveable crime.Dont know what i will do without her. after her first driving license, she no longer thinks i am genius cos i can drive :-(. its hilariously funny how we argue over rules at times. I say she shud be more aware of rules coz she just got her L's but she seems to have other logics.

Clumsy me

2006-03-08T22:18:00.000+11:00

Salam,

I feel as worthless as NASA today. First, let me narrate to you how intelligent NASA can be.

When NASA first launched astronauts to space, it realised that pen did not work in space. Since there is zero gravity at space, ink did not fall down. So, NASA spent US$12 million and a decade to develop a pen that would work under all conditions in space ie, in zero gravity, freezing temperature, underwater etc etc.

Guess what Russia did? They just used a "PENCIL".

And I feel as stupid as Russia. I am so caught up in finding a solution to a problem that I miss the most obvious solution.

Best thing of today: Brother Zacharia Matthew's lecture. He talked about challenges faced by a Muslim at uni. The greatest challenge of all is Saitan and its temptation. So true. I still remember being invited to parties in 1st year by some of my non-muslim classmates. Guess what he told us. Sister Faiza is a university medalist for art and language. She achieved that being married with two kids. Mashallah, it made me feel so proud(and ashamed of myself at the same time). This should be a source of inspiration for all of us. Allah(SWT) is the source of all strength.

Worst thing of today: Microbial genetics lab. I got bacterial culture spilled on my hand. Later the tutor told us that culture has the potential to explode its container if its lid is kept closed for too long. Freaky stuff. Maybe my skin will burst soon. The bunsen burner kept getting turned off(without any valid reason). I looked at the UV light directly(forgot safely glasses).Basically, everything was a mess.

Worst thing for the rest of the semester: I have group meeting for a project at 9 pm(yes pm!!!!). This is as horrible as it can get. I get home at 10.30 and my parents get worried sick:-(.

Book you gotta read: The curious incident of a dog in the night-time by Mark Haddon. I will post up some excerpt from the book later. An Outstanding, remarkable, stunningly good read.

I am currently worried because I have just lost $6000 in shares. Before you got too excited, it's virtual. We have do a virtual share selling and buying game for an assignment. Apparently, being good at science only is not good enough.We need to have other commercial knowledge.Ridiculous!!

Before I leave, I will leave you with an amusing exercise. Sit upright in a chair. Move your right leg clockwise. At the same time,try to write 6 with your right hand. See what happens. Let me know if you can do both simultaneously.

I need some sleep. Make loads of dua for me. Salam.

Roast

2006-03-04T22:08:00.000+11:00

Salam all,
Alhamdulillah I am feeling so much better today. All of a sudden I am feeling happy. I guess happiness comes from making others happy. Today, me and jumjum decided to cook lunch for all to give ammu a rest. She has been working so hard cleaning up the new house and all.

Ok, this is how it all started. I went to Sadun's house few days ago and she served us with delicious, mouth watering whole chicken roasts. Gosh, it tasted as good as it looked(I always thought chicken roasts look good but dont taste as good).Her wonderful mojar mojar chicken roasts left the taste in my mouth and I just couldn't wait to try it out myself. Inspired by my little sister HP, I endeavoured to cook it. Ended up serving everyone with chicken roast, khichuri, begun vagi(jumana's cooking, vishon yummy) and sweet and sour meatballs(which I have learned from another great cook Saleha apa aka my nonosh). However , I felt that my chicken roast wasn't as good as sadun's (sigh) . Thank god everyone liked it. I thought I was going to make a fool out of myself. Specially, my mum really liked it. We made her really proud and happy. I felt so ecsatic to see her that happy. It's amazing how little things can make mothers so happy(especially after marriage lol).

Forgot to mention Sadun's superb chocolate cake. I already tried another version of it. I am absolutely in love with anything chocolatey and I shall stop, else I will become a super mutko soon.

Just saw in someone's nick"manush jokhon valobashay bertho hoy, tokhon onno kauke ba onno kichuke bhalobashar obolombon hishebe beche ney". To the author of the nick: I really liked it, it is so true. Ami bhalobasha haraye ranna niye besto lol.Since I am deprived of love, I might as well choose cooking as my "obolombon".

Ok, I better get some studies done. First week of uni is already over and I am as lost as ever.Ok kiddos, you gotta pray for me. Amar eka eka laage :(.

Bachao

2006-02-28T21:59:00.000+11:00

Salam,
People have been asking me why I am no longer blogging. I have come back to the blogger world just to answer your questions. Recently I have been feeling very lonely, very upset, very absent-minded, very lost and lastly very tired. Despite the fact that I am so busy at uni, I cant seem to stop thinking about certain people and things. Not being able to control my emotions is making me feel even more irritated. I just need holidays. I just want holidays. r parina r parina bristi jhore chukher patay...Allah, save me.

Back for a while

2006-01-04T16:18:00.000+11:00

Salam readers,
I am here for a very very short post. How are you all? Oh god...how I missed blogging!!!Came to a cyber cafe to enrol for next semester, instead this is what I am doing. I met the aussie bunch in Bdesh. Was exhilarated. Officially Mrs now, it feels awfully weird. Requesting prayers for me and Mr..., I shall leave now. Wassalam.

Less than 24 hours left

2005-11-29T15:36:00.000+11:00

I am flying in less than 24 hours. Oh my god, I am so excited. Part of me is missing aussie land so much. How am I going to stay out of this very known place for 3 good months? Next post will be from BD Inshallah.

BD trip preparation

2005-11-27T15:55:00.000+11:00

Salam buddies,
How goes life for you all? I wrote half of this post, but then internet explorer decided it's time to shut itself off...so it was all lost. Problems, somosshas, dilemmas are filling my life...

Dilemma No 1: I finally started packing for BD today after everyone reminding me there are only 3 days left till I fly(oh yeay!!!!). Oh my Gosh..I didn't realise I had so many things to take. I packed one medium sized and a small luggage. They have been filled to its maximum. But I still have few more things to take. So, things sorted out..I need a backpack.

Dilemma no 2: It's been raining ever since. My clothes got wet in rain all last night. Today I thought it's about time I take them in and put them under some shade. Since it's been raining at many different angles, the shade won't do much good I guess. But I need all those clothes dried before I leave.

Dilemma No 3. (not quite a dilemma now)Did BD shopping today, money had been leaking out like anything. My lord...I can't believe I had to spend so much. For the first time in life, I took petrol for the car. Was always so reluctant to try that out. On my way home from shopping, I realised the fuel tank is giving red signals. So I gathered up my courage and took petrol from a Caltex. It was quite easy actually.

Dilemma No 4: Ammu and abbu want to buy me gold for the big event. I don't like wearing excessive gold nor am I a big fan of jewelleries. I can't seem to convince them that it's such a waste of money, what am I going to do with so much gold? I would rather take the cash. I don't undertsand the mentality of parents and I will never understand the logic behind "owning gold". Arghhhhh.

ok, enough of my dilemmas. I better make some arrangements to get a backpack now. Going out with HP and Sana tomorrow. A day to look forward to(if only it doesn't rain!!!). Met Nodi in the weekend(her wedding date is same as mine). Had a great time catching up. okies....better run off now. Pray for me :-)

My Inner Child

2005-11-23T09:49:00.000+11:00

Your Inner Child Is Happy

You see life as simple, and simple is a very good thing.
You're cheerful and upbeat, taking everything as it comes.
And you decide not to worry, even when things look bad.
You figure there's just so many great things to look forward to.

How Is Your Inner Child?

Does this reflect me?

Yesterday Ishi and Doctor apu paid me a visit. Thank you so much to both of you. And we had fun , fun, fun. I think I talked excessively, probably scared Doctor apu. Kotha bolar manush pai na tho, tai beshi kotha bolchilam. Then I went to Ishi's house to sharpen my badminton skills(and to tone the unwated flabs here and there). It turned out to be disastrous because of the wind(and my lack of skills ahem ahem). Was supposed to be going out with Ishi today, she did a last minute cancellation(not sure why!!). OK..one more week till I get to sink into my mumm's lap.

Partay - The New Beginnings

2005-11-21T16:23:00.000+11:00

Assalamu Alaikum,
Came back to the blogging world. From now on, every day will be spent blogging. I am in a state of euphoria now you see, I can’t help myself. Too overwhelmed with joy just coz’ I finished those exams (the joy might all be ebbed by the results).

Ok, it’s not the ending of the exams that makes me so cheerful; it’s the “partay”(sorry Flynn for plagiarism) of the year “NEW BEGINNINGS”. A day of fun, a day of surprises, a day of celebrating our spinsterhood, a day to enjoy our freedom…I could go on forever if I wanted to decipher all my feelings about THE DAY.

I really wanted to do episode by episode account of our grand party, but I will let HP do that in due time. Since everybody is on this topic now, I am sure most of you read what a great success it was. Thanks to Ash’s and Flynn’s creative minds and all other girls who added spice to the event.

Girls, girls, girls you made me feel like the “centre of all attention”. I won’t say I looked anything like the bride-to-be as I have failed all “prerequisite of being a bride” tests miserably. Nira apu attempted to train me to be the shy lokkhi Bengali bou, but I failed terribly. At last we concluded that I am just going to be a BESHOROM bride who laughs with her 32 teeth showing and constantly gaze at everyone (far from lowering my gaze). Nira apu is going to provide me with some glycerin on the day iA, then at least I can pretend to be a proper bou.

The Treasure Jar

The best part was the jar of treasure I have been gifted by all. The treasure that awaits to be unfastened on my wedding night ( dudettes, don’t you think I would have other ultra important things to do that night? joking..). This jar made me so inquisitive that I was peeking through it to read the notes (pathetic I know. Note: I didn’t open it yet before all of you kill me).

Nira apu and sisters gifted me a funky handbag which I will be showing off everywhere soon. I actually needed an uni bag, how did they know? Telepathy I guess.

And yes, they all managed to make me blush and flush. Guess how I feel after the party. I wish I could marry many times hehe(let’s hope certain person isn’t reading this). I never thought I would enjoy the attention so much. I never quite liked the idea of being wed up until this party (where I felt like the “lime light”). I am kidding dears, don’t tease me.

Who wrote the best “how to a perfect wife” note? Ishi, fishy…gosh, he will be a lucky man. Doctor apu, she will be the sweetest wife of all. And me…I will be the jograte wife (since my first line was “ a perfect wife must voice her opinion at all time ). “RAISE YOUR VOICE” women.)Hope I would always get the response “yes, dear”..lol.

Flynn’s surprise was a delight in itself. The enticing, irresistible, mouth-watering and scrumptious cake. A heavenly cake that will occupy certain piece of memory for the rest of my life.

I didn’t have much time to come back home and reflect on the party (was too worried about the exam). Now that I think of it, this maybe was the last party of my life with my friends. They have made me feel so special which left me no path but to sit and mourn for them, for all the times that we spend together, for all the happiness and sorrow we have shared, for all the troubles we went through, for all the organizational work, for all those picnics, for all those sleepovers throughout the years. I can’t imagine leaving them all, I feel like a vacuum is pumping my heart out. There is always one time when sweet memories become pangs; I am experiencing this right now. This special day will linger in the timeline of my memory and bring me to tears. Tears of happiness for being gifted such great bunch of friends (Alhamdulillah) and tears of sorrow for not being able to be with them all the time. If it weren’t for you all, I wouldn’t be who I am today. I love you all for the sake of Allah. Life goes on I guess. It’s just the beginning but we all know things will never be the same again.

Ok, now I must go and cook for abbajaan. Abbu and bhaia have been really sweet to me before my exams. Bhaia surprised me in the morning by bringing me tea to my room and abbu cooked yesterday. Bhaia has been diligently doing all dish-washing since ammu left. From today, I am going to be the HOUSEGIRL (not housewife), cooking and cleaning to my heart's content. I shall end the long essay here. Take care and pray for me.

Rating my life

2005-11-13T19:40:00.000+11:00

Salamz,
Have an exam tomorrow. But here I am, rating my life. Came across this thing in Nira apu's blog. It's cool.
I just found out tomorrow's exam in an afternoon exam, not a morning one. So I thought I can waste some time and blog. Mummy and my fav kiddies are leaving AUS in 2 days. Don't know what I will do without them. I will be the only female left in the house with the males, which means I will be spending rest of my days in the KITCHEN(Argggghhh).
Please pray for my exams. Please, please, please. Ok..better leave now.
LIFE RATING:

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	7.1
Mind:	6.6
Body:	8
Spirit:	7.5
Friends/Family:	5
Love:	8.5
Finance:	6.9
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Eid Mubarak

2005-11-01T00:54:00.000+11:00

Assalamu Alaikum everyone,

Early Eid Mubarak from me. Before I forget, everyone is invited to come over at my house. So, please make your way down to the .......(what's this place called??). Ramadhan was a breeze this year,won't you all agree? Just a day left, perhaps today is the last taraweeh prayer. I am sorely dissappointed at myself this ramadhan. The only thing that went as planned is Quran reading(Alhamdulillah). I feel like I have wasted so much time doing things I should not be doing. While I am saying all these, I am feeling very apprehensive.I have done so little and I don't even now whether Allah has accepted them, whether they deserved to be accepted by Allah(SWT).I am more afraid of my prayers/deeds getting accepted by Allah rather than completing it. Oh well, I guess a believer should always oscilliate between fear and hope. I fear that I have not been sincere enough in my deeds(hence Allah might not accept them) but at the same time I strongly hope that Allah will accept them and reward me for it. Just remembered the hadith" Allah says:" I am as my servant thinks of me".I shall not despair hopes.

I have been reading all those blogs during last whole month. Hey, who said blogging is bad? I have learned and was inspired so much by all of you. When I thought I was slacking off, I knew how well my other sisters/brothers were doing, it helped me to be back on track again. Even when you wrote about how bad you have been doing, it was still immensely motivating. It taught me to be humble, it reminded me not to make the same mistakes. Alhamdulillah, there were so much to reflect on. May Allah bless you and reward you all for the encouragement and enthausiasm you provided during this blessed month. Keep them coming throughout the year. I love you all for the sake of Allah.*kiss(to the sisters only of course :P)*

Ok, this year Eid is quite hectic for me. Uni is ending on 4th NOV for the whole year officially. Then we have study vacation, then exams, then BD trip(hip hip hurray!!),then my jibon moron :$. I have 3 assignments due on Eidday. I am still working on them. Halfway through 2 of them today. Perhaps, if I didn't blog, I could have finished one of them. This is where poor time management gets you. I have missed out many days of uni (due to pure laziness) , so I have lots to study in the stuvac. Worst of all, I don't feel guilty about missing out uni. I am becoming absolutely thick skinned. I won't have much of Eid this year. Was planning to drive around with friends. It seems everybody have shut down and changed their plans in last minute(lazy bums :P). Oh well, I just need to go with ammu then.

Ok, I will cut my long story short. I have been writing for too long. May this Eid bring many treasured moments in your life. Protidin hok Eider diner moto khashi khushi abong utshober din. Please remember me and my family in your duas.

Ma'assalam.

My Chuto bhaia

2005-10-22T21:37:00.000+10:00

Salamz all,
Introducing Labib, my habib, my cutie-pie, my hunny bunny, my lil bro. I looooove him.

Happy days are passing by...

2005-10-21T08:31:00.000+10:00

Assalamu Alaikum

Can you believe more than half of ramadan is gone? It is flying before my eyes. When ramadan is near to its end, I thought it is time for me to sit back and analyse my deeds(and justify my excuses!!). Had many plans in the head(must say I was inspired by my fellow bloggers) but I obviously haven't achieved much :-(. Still didn't get around memorising any surah :-(. I am trying to finish the Quran with meaning. Trust me, reading it with meanings not only gives you a better understanding, but it heals your soul.Alhamdulillah, it has been one of the greatest experience. The amazing thing about reading Quran is no matter how many times I read it before, I still find numerous parables, numerous ayahs I did not take heed of. It's as if I am reading it for the first time every time. If only I knew arabic...yes..I am currently dying to go to Syria/Egypt, but I think Allah has other plans for me.

Ok..now back to ramadan. I am going to miss ramadan so much. I love the bonding of the family during ramadhan.The whole family sits around the table before iftar, hustling to arrange the table, we have a little bazaar like environment in our hous...even the chaos and noise we make feels like a blessing. The munajat by abbu before iftar adds to the spirit of ramadan(and ofcourse family bonding).I have a BIG family and Mashallah they are good at creating quite a lively(and noisy) enviroment(sorry siblings, if you are reading this).

Then comes the taraweeh prayer. I love praying taraweeh in congregation. Because we live quite far from the local mosjid, sometimes we have the benfit of praying taraweeh with the whole family. So abbu leads the prayer, his beautiful recitation penetrates through the heart..I can feel the unison, the spirit, the grace piercing through me. It can be so moving sometimes. Having a big family like mine can be quite irritating at times, but moments like this makes me feel so blessed to have a huge family Alhamdulillah.

As I am sharing these beautiful moments with my family, suddenly the thought of all those girls like me in Pakistan engulfed me. There are so many girls like me there, who have lost their mother, father, brothers and sisters. They are probably having to pass this ramadan all alone, if not spending every day lamenting for the lost ones. I am moved to tears. I could be a girl in that position right now. How can I sit here and enjoy myself while my sisters are crying?Subhanallah, Allah has given us so much, yet we fail to show any gratitude to him. Have you ever wondered how much blessings Allah endowed you with? We always think about what we don't have. How often do we say, I wishI had this, I had that...Life is not fair. Well, I must admit I do it many times. Let's all be thankful to Allah (SWT) and give our best to him. Oh Allah, help us all to make You and Your deen our first priority.

I wish ramadhan was here for a little longer. I wish time would go slower. I wish I could be spending more of those lovely moments. Above all, I wish this isn't my last ramadhan with my family. I can't even bear to think of that. Ato kosto laage...obisshashho. Hey, I have something to look forward to...BD trip. Positive thinking helps.

Please remember me and my family in your prayers.

Ramadhan has come again...

2005-10-04T17:21:00.000+10:00

Ramadan Mubarak to all. I thank Allah(SWT) for giving me the opportunity to take advantage of this holy month of Ramadan again. May Allah bless us all with spitirual and physical strength to utilise this Ramadan to best of our abilities. May this Ramadan be a reminder to us all. May this Ramadan heighten our Taqwa and renew our Imaan. I request doas from all my visitors here. Wishing you a happy and blessed Ramadan...

Mon Kharap :-(

2005-10-03T21:18:00.000+10:00

অাজ অামার মনটা খুব খারাপ । এত খারাপ েয ভাষায় প্রকাশ করা যােচ্ছনা ।
Salam My dear blogger buddies,
You might wonder why have I been so obsessed with Bangla recently? Well, there can be no better language to express melancholy than Bangla. It intensifies the feelings.
I have been absent from this blog for so long. Have been requested to update it. Update with what though? There remain no secrets in my life! It has become utterly tiresome.

The only thing that is engulfing my mind right now is my studies. I have quite forgotten that they exist. I wish I could live in the state right now…but I must wake up and rejuvenate myself.

The highlight of the holidays was the SUMSA party. Flynn has narrated it all in her flynnic language, but she has forgotten to share the most eksiting news. She has won “best dressed” prize. Didn’t she look glamorous with her black and gold saree? The most amusing part is when they called her name. She looked around and her face had the impression “was that really my name” (practically blushing). She looked so lost(and flynnic). My slow camera was too late to take an immediate shot…

Oh yes, I forgot to mention Tenpin Bowling. I went bowling last week with family members. I must admit I am not very competent at it. Just when I started enjoying the game (and learned the tricks), my turns were finished. I loved it…loved it..loved it, although the main intention of going to bowling was not accomplished(This will be something to laugh about all my life)

I have a little 6 years old girl in my room. Guess what this girl wants to do…she wants to curl her hair!! These little kids amaze me at times.

Ok..must say bidaay now. Bhalo lagechena again.. singing…amar ekta nodi chilo jaanlo natho keu…tik aikhane ek nodi chilo janlona tho keu..jol chilona, kuul chilona, chilo shudhu theu(I picked up this tone from certain someone, can’t get it out of my mind)

Bangla font trial

2005-09-12T16:45:00.000+10:00

Edited as M apu suggested....

ও পাগল মন, মনের মন েকেনা এেত। কথ। বেল

You know....

2005-09-02T16:00:00.000+10:00

You know...
Saturday 14 May 2005, by Tariq RAMADAN

One morning, something can change, something has changed... You turn your face, your eyes, your heart and your hopes towards another Reality. One instant, one second, far from human beings, from their doubts, from their wounds. And the Universe speaks to you of the heart of its evidences:

«Verily, in the creation of the heavens and the earth, and in the succession of night and day there are indeed signs for people of insight »

You know...

And you come back to yourself... to the heart of your inner universe. It is never easy... this quest for meaning, for simplicity. To forget your doubts, your weaknesses, your wounds, your tears, your failures... and to find in yourself the authentic question, your secrete sincerity, your fragility. Alone, in a silence that belongs only to you, simply, softly, tenderly. To find yourself again... in the sacred place that He alone knows, and you.

« We shall show them our signs in the horizons and in themselves so that it will become clear to them that this is the Truth”

You know...

A quest for meaning, a quest for simplicity, a quest for love, a quest for truth. A search. One morning something has changed. You, your gaze, your life. A paradox. To learn to love and to resist yourself... within the same outburst, with the same strength. To love the light of the heart’s humility, at the centre, and to resist the shadows of the mind’s arrogance, at the periphery. To resist the prisons of self-importance and blindness of the heart and to love the liberations of the mind seeking light and peace.

« Do the people think that they will be left alone for they have said ‘We believe’ and that they would not be tested?”

You know ...

The test of the inner peace... an infinite quest of His signs, of Good, of Beauty, of Love. To know He is here and that one has but to unceasingly go towards Him. And everything changes: the universe, human beings, your life... “To change the life” said the poet... and the life has changed as you change in the proximity of the essential. You seek, you observe, you cry. To speak to Him of your tears close to the Truth. He knows, you know...

Your tears are your love; your tears are your freedom

« And God invites you to the dwelling of Peace... »

You know...

Deep in your self there exists a dwelling of a language without words. The sadness of the world has offered you the smile of the essential...Freedom and Peace. A prayer with no request.

You know...

I came across this article in sister Sabrina's blog. These words have touched my heart so much that I could not resist the temptation of not sharing it with you all. May Allah bring all of us closer to the TRUTH.Ameen.

Ahhhhh.....

2005-08-29T20:51:00.000+10:00

Salamz all,
Haven't been blogging for a long while. It seems months to me. So, I thought I would post up something new today. Well, let me tell you what I have been up to. This year I had to pick electives for my course.Up until now, I just did core subjects. I always thought picking electives would be so much fun. I was greatly mistaken.

I picked electives that I don't enjoy at all. That's what kept me away from blogging. Mainly because I was trying to cope with so much work. Work doesn't bother me much as long as I like doing what I am doing. Just few minutes ago, I dropped one of those boring subjects I picked. I feel so relieved, I just can't express my happiness.

There is another reason for my jolly holy mood. Now that I have free time, I can work in the hospitals. Applying to work in the children's hospital. I am sincerely praying to Allah(SWT) so that he would let me do something as great as that. I can't wait to play around with those beautiful lovely children. I request all my readers to make dua for me.

So, here goes the tales of my last month. Where is everyone? It seems everyone is hibernating from their blogs. I guess all of you are just busy with life. Requesting prayers from everyone again, I shall resign to work now...

...

2005-07-31T19:41:00.000+10:00

Hibernating... Awakened by your presence :-)

[P.S:New chatboard has been added. Please leave a comment and assure me it's working fine. :-)]

Jibon amar....

2005-07-26T17:16:00.000+10:00

Peace be on you readers,
where art thou? How is life treating you all?
Jibon amar :
"jibon amar jacche chole taale taale
jibon amar ghurche ghorar garir chakar moto
Sobi dhuloy lunchito kore...."
Ok..enuff of my bangla kobita!!!

Here are the updates of my boring(but blessed) life..

My owlness: well, girls, funnily enough, I have become an owl :-(. I cannot sleep at night. I just don't feel sleepy at all. All sleeps embrace my eyes after fajr. Any remedies by my intelligent readers?
Dear oh dear Uni:Yes, Uni has started. So far, it has been a blessing (given that I didn't attend half my lectures til now). I would have if only I could locate the lecture theatres. Have you heard of RED Centre theatre ash? Oh gosh..I raced up and down the RED CENTRE rushing to find this lecture hall. To my surprise and disappointment, it was in the BUILT ENVORNMENT building. Not only that, it has a tiny and a rather old looking door with no names on it. Now you tell me how does the naming of lecture theatres work.
Nothing beats the Thai Food: Hmm...wasn't that a glorious day for me and HP? After half an hour of walk from lower campus to "TASTE OF THAI", we gorged ourselves with beautiful, delicious,delish, divine, mouthwatering, toothsome, yummy food(you name it,me ran out of synonyms now..and yes I LOOOVE food).
Sore feet: Two days of sandals to uni and I have managed to punish my sensitive feet with blisters and sandal marks. That half an hour walk to the thai resutarant triggered it. Must go back to joggers (although they are far from reaching my standard of nice footwear)
YMSA YMSA YMSA: Have been a great slack in YMSA activities. Time to put in some efforts (I know all of you YMSA jewels would collaborate with me). Finally found some good website deals. Will get started soon Inshallah.
Horrible terrible Flu virus: It seems flu mia is having a love affair with me...it just won't leave me. The sequence of my sickness: Fever->cough->half-sneezing face->runny nose. Now I am in the "runny Nose" stage. My nose would be good for advertising red nose day and I shall name myself "tissue lady" soon..with tissues around me everywhere. What does the doc say abt it? As usual "let the immune system fight it".

Tomorrow will be the day!! Meeting sana chum after a semester. Cannot wait!! Oh yes, have a exam test chat with lecturer tmr(test through chat, funny isn't it?). I must resign to my life now.... kleenex again please.

Mourning...

2005-07-23T18:16:00.000+10:00

How are my readers? It's time to come back to blogging, whaddya all say?

My current state: Mourning the end of my holidays(although it was only 2 days to be precise)

So, here I am running a poll to see how much all of you enjoyed the hol..holi..holidays.
Select an option:

1. Absolutely loved it.
2. It couldn't be worse.
3. Boring but refreshing.

I would certainly choose number 3. Nevertheless, enjoyed my morning sleeps to the max:-). Btw, this blog is turning maniac along with me. I can't preview my posts. Any experts out there who knows what's going on? Pls help!!!

The lecture night....

2005-07-11T17:23:00.000+10:00

Salam everyone.
I was able to make my way to the conference alhamdulillah. I was there whole day 9am-11 pm. And I must tell you it was worth it. Dr Jamal Badawi talked about "does Islam teach hatred and violence" in the light of current London event.He redefined words like "jihad" and many more ayahs that are commonly quoted by non-muslims to accuse muslims as terrorists(wish I could record it all).

Prof Malik Badri, an old but very humurous man, managed to keep us awake with his enligtening talk all the way through.

And you won't believe, one of the speakers were talking about blog(yes blogging). He was saying how controversial topics are brought up in blog just to get more attention and bring out people's anger and frustration.That was followed by a workshop. Me and my friends, being single females, decided to join the "marriage" workshop.(*wink*). No, we weren't taught what to look for in our prospective partners. The message was more of this : "One sees the dust(smallest fault) in other's eyes but misses the dirt in one's own eyes". So, Fix up your problems before you expect perfection in others. I thought that was a good remainder for all of us.We also did few personality tests(and don't ask me about the results). Finally we were told that all the confusion in the topic arises from the fact that we have no dependency on Allah(SWT). We are adopting more secular ideas, hence making life harder for ourselves.

Not to forget, we had 2 hours of adda in the break time in a coffee shop. The coffee shop was filled with muslim(and the volunteers wearing the same uniform). The shop assistants almost looked dismayed by the presence of so many muslims.

Ok, that's my whole day review.It was worth my time. I couldn't stay till the end. Oh yes...to my surprise, I met HP there(and wasn't I excited!!). I couldn't stay till the end, perhaps HP can give an overview of what I have missed.

Anyone wants to join me?

2005-06-29T19:26:00.000+10:00

Announcing....

Mission of Hope is giving away 10 free tickets for(UNSW ISOC members) the 9th July Saturday night community lecture at Bankstown Town Hall, "Healthy Solutions for our Youth", 7-11 pm. International speakers include Prof Malik Badri and Dr Jamal Badawi.

Please see http://www.missionofhope.org.au/events.html for further details on the community lecture.

If you are UNSW ISOC member, please contact Raidah for a free ticket. Tickets cost only $5 for students($10 for non-students) , so it should be affordable for all of us. I am sure other uni Islamic societies would have some free offers.

All of you should know Jamal Badawi. If you don't, I can give a brief introduction.

To my beloved friends...

2005-06-25T08:08:00.000+10:00

Maktoub

2005-06-23T20:28:00.000+10:00

Here are some brilliant quotes that can rejuvenate your hopes...

" You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it however."
- Illusions: The Memoirs of a Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach

" When you want something, all the Universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."
- The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

" .... when you know that language ( universal language of the world ), it's easy to understand that someone in the world awaits you, whether it's in the middle of the desert or in some great city. And when two such people encounter each other, and their eyes meet, the past and the future become unimportant. There is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that evokes love, and creates a twin soul for every person in the world. Without such love, one's dreams would have no meaning. Maktoub "
- The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
I am not usually very sentimental(mushy) type of person, but I was really moved by the last quote.Maktoub...This is what is written/destined to happen.

1 out of the way...

2005-06-10T10:06:00.000+10:00

Salams girls,
just had my first exam. I must say, I don't regret "not studying". It wasn't worth studying for...me thinks me smashed it alhamdulillah.(I think!!!). Had to be out of the house before 7 am(the sun wasn't even up) for this exam. Doing a short warm-up run every morning to the station (as usual).Met a lady in our new street. we had a brief talk.So I ask the "curry" lady
doe: "are you indian?"
Curry lady: "yes I am. And you are from lebanon?"(*roll eyes*all my attempts to look "curry" have miserably failed!!)hotchips laughed out loud when I disclosed this incidence to her, saying "what a shame!! lebanon??what a shame!!"(but why??) tumra keu amar looks niye comment korona in public,pls...LOL.

Guess what I did yest!! Went around Westfield shoppingtown to visit "tarocash", "man to man" and "genesis for man",looking absolutlely dumbfounded. Well...what was I doing there? Guess..guess..just guess.
Ok..leaving you to guess.tc.salamz.

String Matching

2005-06-09T08:18:00.000+10:00

String matching = Marriage of Recursion and Hash coding

Suffering from ES!!!

2005-06-08T13:13:00.000+10:00

aa my dear readers,

What's ES you ask? Exam Syndrome!!! I really need to see the doctor at home. Well, the shob-janta(means all-knowing) thinks I am not doing any studies. He never fails to be worried about me. And why so much concern? According to him..I live in the net and on the phone. I partially think he is right, but come on, you need to socialise, right?

I am on a new mission now. I won't talk at home. No talk, more work. You think I can accomplish it?

Read ashes's blogspot. Gosh..was it funny or what? Ashes's monkey uncle is trying to convince her to get M@RR13d. Being ashes..as you know..couldn't even bear the thought. My comments...."dear, time is expiring. hurry up". You see, I am up for a party, any wedding would do.(ashes..i hope u r reading this, I will enlighten you with my opinions on that forbidden "M" word soon!!!).

I m missing T. T forgot me, and I weep. Well..life goes on!!!!

Had few hours sleep yesterday, but I am feeling so energetic. It must be my new diet. For the first time in my life, I am becoming health conscious. Listening to my dearest adviser=my mother!!

Ok, I plan to study next 10 days. And oh yes...how can I forget MSN? No MSN for me for next few weeks(only few...I dare say!!!). So,if you can't catch me online, blame it on the exams.And if you do happen to catch me online, *smack* me!!!

Ok..plzzzzz pray for me. I am praying without putting any effort. Unlikely to go anywhere. But something is better than nothing. Retiring to studies again....

Sleepy...

2005-06-08T06:51:00.000+10:00

Salam every1,
I am sitting in uni now, in the computer lab. And dozing off to sleep. Help! A friend was just telling me today how can people waste so much time blogging(she added it's interesting to read though)?( How can I?)Before I go, A riddle for you to solve:
"You are a thief and I am bad shooter"
And sharing the sweetest smss(plural sms) I recieved from my bumchum:
"Here is a practical test to show you how much I miss you-try to catch the raindrop when it's raining, how much of it can you catch? That's = how much you miss me.And amount of the rain drops that you miss(and I catch)= how much I miss you" . Oh I am touched!!! Missing you too.
Another one: "Keep me as a friend and I'll keep you in my heart lock it up and throw away the key, so that no one can take you away from me". To the girl_in_black-> I found the key...but was unsuccessful in unlocking.
Just noticed I have managed to preserve full sentences and proper english today. Take care everyone.
-the sleepy doe

Expired!!!!

2005-06-07T20:22:00.000+10:00

Salams girlies...

I m bak. Gees, missed blogging for so long. got some time to breathe today. Last week of

uni...can't wait til it's all over. Can I wait 2 meet my exam papers...and the exam room! I hope the exams aren't in the racing course. wonder y do they hav them there when the uni is soo big? Maybe they want to relieve us from exam stress n trying to encourage us to go for a horse ride. Should try it out...Getting excited with the thought..

Ok..what's expired? Everything....including myself. My health care card, passport...everything is expired. Getting scolded everyday for not filling the forms yet. I don't understand what am I going to do with the health care card? never used it last year!!! And the doctor never prescribes anything to me, she reckons I am always fine (even if I think i am seriously sick) .And passport...oh gosh big hassle. Trying to change my name. "Sakina begum"..how does that sound?? let me knw girls.

Had a big party in the weekend with YMSA girls. so much fun ...after so long. At inti's house. And the cake..was it yummy or what? mashallah you girls looked so adorable. Any of u want to c any pics..let me/kalo megh know.

ok..now comes my dentist story. Went to see the dentist as usual, the receptionist asked me "do you need a note for school?" . She has flattered me...do I look so young? A muslim shopkeeper was asking me few days ago "how is school?". am I getting older or younger? Or maybe shrinking.(have something to worry about).

Did a poster today. After so many days, and for the first time in uni, me and my dear friend sat with colouring pencils, crayons and textas. Enjoyed the colouring so much, wanting to go back to primary schoold now.

ok..i m bak to my online lectures. Waiting for certain people....that's why they aren't here. U c..that's wat happens when u wait too long.

Ok...exam starts this friday. My main worry is my "lack of worry". I am not stressed at all. I am listening to the lctures while writing this. I am not making sense to myself...i hope it's making sense to u.

big bro just tells me he is hurt coz i don't share everything with him. Ok...going to have an adda(excuse for a lecture break!!) with him now.(if you have a big bro, u wud know what does their "sharing" mean...it has a diff meaning.Let me see what he wants to be updated with)

Ok..Everyone..make doa for me. take care. Allah hafez n salam

Milo..Milo...oh Milo..

2005-05-25T15:27:00.000+10:00

salams sweeties,
I am back to my blogging.Currently listening to an online lecture, I can barely keep myself awake. Lecturer is talking about heretibility and environmental effects on genes. Interesting topic in a hush hush voice.

Had a headache all day...has cleared up after a short drive. How weird!! oh yes...i forgot to tell you about my recent obsession. It's the MILO icecream. It tempts me to the uni stores everyday..(gosh..I feel like it's almost calling me..shadow of milo icecream following me). It was raining all morning, and the weather was freezing cold. All of a sudden, the Milo icecream desire decided to rise up...so here I go...went for a MILO icecream. I must add...the taste was heavenly. Still craving for another one. The icecream had paid me back with the headache.

With exams knocking in my door, my passion for novels has risen exponentially. I am glued to "The handmaid's tale" by Margaret Atwood(some would argue I am having feminist thoughts now...perhaps getting influenced by the book). me..feminist?? Noway!!!I was so immersed in the book that i missed my stop. Being on a express train, I ended up 5 stations after my stop. I am really becoming insane now...

missing my bumchum!!!! where r u my shuna??? Ok...better go back to my lectures. So much suffering for missing out on lectures. I can see the flames burning in my beloved advisers.okies, no more skipping lectures. I will be there..I will be there in my every single lecture ia.
ok..pplz..pray for me. take care. Luv n xoxo
-the sensible maniac (!!!!)

Welcome to my blog!!

2005-05-20T22:59:00.000+10:00

Salamz every1,
Feel welcome!!!Thanks for making me feel special by dropping in. I promise to entertain you with my boredom.Finally i got to this blogging thing...waiting to explore it. Sitting here n getting bored...creativity flares up in the middle of assignments i must admit. Reason behind creation of this: to waste my time...do anything except studying.

Have been looking around for the purple template. but no luck...so opted for the greeny..yaah..i do luv my green. pink was nice..if only too many ppl didn't have that!!!

hey..it was my bday yesterday. it was quite a day I must admit. me finally 20. Feeling younger as I am getting older..hehe..good sign. got heaps of presents. Saris and mistis((it's my bday ppl, not my wedding,LOL).Gotta learn how to wrap that sari thing...lol.

ok..working now!!! client wants to know how to calculate diameter...he is making up formula of his own. maybe seeing himself as a future mathematician(although i think the formula doesn't make sense).

moving house...acting as a chauffeur(did i spell dat right)? wish i had a kangaroo to shift the goods..and oh yes...it's gotta be purple. (am i eccentric or what?? )

I am acting as a detective now. Trying to solve a mysterical (& annoying) sms. Hmm...time to think like Sherlock holmes.

ok...pplz..i better leave u now. the client is really getting to my nerves now...and the mob never fails to surprise me. My lovey dovey cell phone. Ok..take care luvyyys. Byeeee for now. salamz.(just realised blogspot has no emoticons...sorry cudn't give you a flower.)

luv n hugs xx
the sensible maniac